Only in 2005 I eventually understood that I was gay.
Yes, gay, not lesbian.
For years I just felt different.
It's interesting to see that you can feel things but can't name them.
But you do things.
Like preferring gay looking or softer guys instead of solid men with the famous shoulder to lean on..




This week was quite a gay week.
Some students of mine being and acting openly gay although from a homophobic social and religious background walked and talked with me. I have never outed myself to students before.
This time I did.

One of them told me how ill he felt until he came out to his parents and environment.
And he recommended to do just the same.
The other one just took my arm and asked me if I would join them for a dance.
I told him jokingly that if I'd lose some pounds in the next decades I may will.

And all of a sudden there was this strong feeling of loss and happiness.

Loss because that once was my very imagination of being gay.
Being part of this very special community.
Happiness because we will be together for some time now.
Teaching and learning German by one common interest:
Let society build itself around us.




While searching for something completely different, some more things were found today:
This picture, a present to me named "Skaska" which means FairyTale in Russian, by a young lady who tried to animate my lesbian side in 2003, but failed. I can't help it but I am and was not interested - in terms of sexuality - in (significantly) younger women.





And this strange cooking receipe from 2004.
By another friend of mine, being a man of age now and always feeling like a lesbian woman.
Once he was a student of the famous Mr. Beuys as well.





Coming Out In 2014 to me is "just" continuing being authentic.